Dear Jori

Before I say anything else, the brownies were not entirely my fault. Somebody else gave them to me, and I thought it would be better if you ate them. To be honest, I’m glad that I had them with you instead of that other guy. Even though I still don’t remember parts of that night. I do remember the kiss.

Anyways, it was the first day of school today. I hated it. All the teachers were boring, none of them were fun like Sikowitz. Most of the kids tried to make friends with me, since I was new or whatever, but I scared them off with my morbid sense of humor and just being myself. There was this one girl, though. She was cool because she wasn’t scared of me, kind of like you aren’t afraid of me. And when I bit, she bit back. Not literally, of course. So I ate lunch with her since she’s kind of lonely too. (No surprise, she was kind of strange.) Turns out she’s gay and has a girlfriend. I was kind of surprised, and being the dumbass I am, I told her about you. I can’t believe I told her. I don’t even trust this girl, so what if she tells someone and word gets around to my dad? I’m such an idiot sometimes.

Lying to your mother, going off by yourself, and sneaking away to see me? That sounds a bit naughty for the Tori Vega I know. But, hey, I’m not complaining, I’d love to see you sometime. I got a couple of college acceptance letters, but they were mostly my back-ups. I’m still waiting to hear back from the other schools I’m really aiming for.

Thanks for calling last night. It was … nice. I’d say that I was sorry for keeping you up so late, but I don’t really care. I’m pretty sure you don’t care either. You should call me tonight. No, scratch that, you will call me tonight, because, well, because I said so.

How’s Hollywood Arts? Is it different without me there? Not that I care, I’m just curious. Being away from you and that school is weird. I feel like some sort of drug addict that gave up cold turkey and is going through withdrawal. You’re my drug, Vega. That’s actually mildly romantic, you should write it down since it may never happen again.

Ah, well, tell Cat I said hi and follow that with a ‘shut up’ so it sounds like it came from me. I hope to see you soon, or to at least get some food. I have to kill to get a salad around here.

- Jade West

(February 6th)

It can’t be that bad, Jade. I hear Sacramento is really pretty. Besides, that one T.V. show was set there. What was it called? Even Stevens or something? I’ve found, in general, stoners are easier to talk to. Not that I’ve talked to many. Or know much about stoners. I mean, I’ve only got stoned once. And that was with you. When you made those brownies and didn’t tell me. You know…the first time we really kissed. Uhm, sorry. That doesn’t help with the whole missing you thing. Please don’t sulk forever, though, ok?

I’ve already gotten walked all over. By you. And that turned out nicely, I think. Besides, I can stand up for myself. You’ve seen me do it a couple of times. Shit, this song just came up on my itunes. Steal Your Heart by Augustana. It just makes me think of you. I haven’t been sleeping. This is off topic from what this paragraph was going to be about, but I thought you should know. I miss you….

Yes, we can private chat sometime. I’m setting up skype with the gang and Andre said he’d just call about a time that’d work for you. I would suggest that I could just ask you, but they might get suspicious about why we talk so much. And….well, you don’t want them to know, so.

I’m going to call you tonight, ok? I just don’t think I can sleep tonight if I don’t. That sounded really lame, didn’t it?

You did teach me well. I wouldn’t have gotten in without you. Like that one time we stayed up until three practicing that same scene over and over and over again? And we just passed out? And made breakfast the next morning? Let me know when you hear from anywhere. My mom wants me to tour Tisch and UCLA, as well as NYU before I accept. I just..I hate thinking of the future without you. This sucks.

I’m trying to convince her to let me tour UCLA by myself and if that happens, I might ditch and come see you. I’ve seen UCLA, I’m not going there. I just want to see you. It wouldn’t be for a few more weeks but I hope. I hope I can. I just want to see you again and…hug you. J And I’ll leave Trina at home. Promise.

Tell me how school goes, ok? Cat says hi. She misses you a lot too.

<3 Tori Vega

(February 5^th)

I miss you. I know that I’ll probably say that about a million times in this letter. But I just wanted you to know that. I’m sure Sacramento will suck less. The public school, however, I can’t promise will suck less. Public school just plain sucks. But it’s only a couple more months. And then college, right? I know you hate that conversation. But I wanted you to be the first to know. I got into NYU. For acting. Into their theatre school. Can you believe it? I haven’t accepted. I wanted to talk to you…see where you’re going…

Everyone here misses you like crazy. I’m sending a bag of your favorite brand of coffee (as told by Beck), a mix tape from Andre, and a sketch of Robbie as done by Cat (they’ve been hanging out a lot more recently…It’s kinda cute.) Also, we’re trying to figure out how to do a big group chat, so let us know when you get everything set up. We can all skype (and I hope we can skype privately sometime soon?) Sikowitz is still confused by the concept that you’re not coming back to school. He…he and I both are kind of struggling with that concept.

It sucks, knowing that I won’t see you at school. Or be able to have our secret rendezvouses ever again. I promise you, we’ll be together soon, ok? I’ll be there on that sucky roller coaster. You’re going to be ok, and it’s going to get better…But God, who am I kidding? I miss you. I miss you so much, Jade. Your everyday insults were worth it because I knew you didn’t mean them and the kisses made up for it.

Tell me all about your first day when it happens ok? And I hope you have a fantastic weekend. I love you. And I miss you. I won’t tell. I’m keeping you a secret. I promise.

<3 Tori Vega

(February 4th)

Sacramento is making me want to scream. Seriously, the people here are nauseating. My little brother has already made friends with the neighbor kids in this ‘richer-than-thou’ community my dad moved us to. There’s only one girl my age on this street and she’s a cheerleader. That’s just not something I’m gonna mess with. Also, the stoner at the easy-mart is more fun to talk to. And he doesn’t wear the color pink. I’d rather sulk in my room and watch TV shows about celebrities that got high and thought they saw ghosts than go outside. There aren’t even any graveyards for miles around.

You’re too nice for your own good, Vega. I’m serious. One day somebody is going to walk all over you because you let them, and I might not be there to kick their ass back to daycare. I do like the gift basket idea. I need something to use as entertainment. I wish you could come down too. You’re far more interesting than stoned celebrities on TV. I would love to do a chat with you guys, but we can’t do it on The Slap since I don’t attend Hollywood Arts anymore. A private chat with you is really enticing. Much easier than texting. There’s horrible service in my room. Ugh, did I mention how much I hate this place?

You got into NYU? That’s awesome. I guess you learned well. I did help with that of course. I was probably the only person who could stay at your house until it was so late it was early and my parents would never miss me until they needed to complain about something. Made for great study dates. I haven’t gotten a letter from any colleges yet. I guess it’s because of getting the mail redirected. If you want to go to NYU, you should accept it. Doesn’t matter where I go. It shouldn’t at least.

It sucks being here. I know I’ve said it before, but I’ll undoubtedly say it again. Wish you were here, Tori. But uh, if you do come, leave Trina behind. That’s the only good thing about this place. No Trina.

- Jade West

(February 5th)

My dad finally got the guy to come hook up the high-speed internet so I can finally write to you. Sacramento sucks. It actually makes me miss LA! First of all, the coffee is dreadful. It tastes like every person involved in making the coffee spit into it at every possible moment just to piss me off. Not that I know what spit tastes like … unless you count yours. I guess I miss Hollywood Arts a bit too. It’s my Senior year, so we didn’t bother auditioning to the local art’s school and just enrolled me in the public school. Did I mention that I hate public schools?

I miss Beck a little, I know I’m not dating him, but he always got me coffee. I miss Andre’s music. Sacramento doesn’t have good music. I miss Cat too, nobody is secure enough in their stupidity around here to make me laugh. I miss Robbie a little bit. He was kind of the only person I had to make fun of. I even miss Sikowitz compared to the teachers I’m going to meet on Monday.

Did I mention that I hate this place? I hate it for so many reasons, but mostly because it doesn’t have you. I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s true. Making fun of people at the new school won’t be as fun as making fun of you, and I won’t be able to kiss them after I’ve done it. Remember the time I called you a wimp on that roller coaster? Well, being here is like being on a roller coaster. Alone. Without a seat belt. And the brakes don’t work.

So, after rambling for three paragraphs I have come to the painful conclusion that I miss you, Tori Vega. That’s something you will never be able to repeat to anybody. Or I’ll kill you when I get back. You know, after I kiss you.

- Jade West

(February 4th)